Practicing what I preach

After a very tense week at home, and with life in general, I've had an epiphany, of sorts. I've decided to start practicing what I preach, and really made a concerted effort to 1.) become more organized, 2.) practice frugality as I have done in the past, 3.) save money, & 4.) declutter, declutter, declutter!! I am fully aware that one can not accomplish all these tasks in a matter of a day or two. Well, for some people, that might work, but for me, after years of spending money like it grows on trees, stockpiling things from groceries to toiletries (because you can never have enough soap, makeup, tampon, & boxed macaroni & cheese), buying things because "they looked cute in the store" or "it looked cute on the mannequin" or even simply because "I wanted it" and then hardly or never using these things, it's taken a serious toll on me, my family, & even my marriage.

Honestly, I do know how to save money. And I don't just mean, setting aside a certain amount of money from each paycheck every month. I mean, simply saving money by using what we already have on hand, making do with what we have on hand, not wasting food and other perishable items (who knew toothpaste had an expiration date?), and simply taking better care of the things we have. I need to lead my children by example, and not by the old adage, "do as I say, not as I do." That used to tick me off when my mother would say it to me, so why on earth would I, or should resort to saying it to my own children?!

I grew up very poor. Sometimes not knowing what, if anything we'd have for meals, let alone having clothes or shoes that fit properly. My mom did the best she could with what she had, and for that I am extremely grateful. However, with that being said, my mom could have done better in one department while raising my sister & I on her own, with no child support coming in (Lord, have the child support laws changed in the last 30 years!), and no government assistance (again, those laws have also changed a lot in the last 30 years), anytime she got any money that was extra (from cleaning houses, tax refunds, etc), the money was never saved. No instead, she would spend it...spend it all. Usually on my sister & me; on clothes, shoes, etc. which generally were things we needed, but she never attempted to save any of it. You know, put some back for a rainy day, or show us how to save it for something we might want or need in the future. We didn't grow up with mom making enough money to pay all the bills. In fact, often it seemed she was always robbing Peter to pay Paul, and it was endless vicious circle.

But be that as it may, I can not and will not put all the blame on my mother. No, I will take responsibility for my actions. My spendthrift ways. I am not teaching my children anything by giving them everything they want in life. Both of my children can be extremely hard workers. They are both people pleasers, and will generally bend over backwards to help their grandparents or their father. When it comes to helping me, on the other hand, I tend to get the whiny, 'I don't feel like it' attitude, and that simply is no body's fault but my own. I want my kids to know how to work, how satisfying it can feel to work hard at something and to take pride in their accomplishment. I want my kids to learn not only the importance of working to earn something (money, a new CD, etc), but also that things in life just aren't given to you, you have to actually put yourself out there and earn it!!

So with that being said, this past week, I did not make my weekly grocery run, spending at least $100 at Kroger. No...I opted to stay home most of this week, and you know what?! We haven't run out of anything we actually need to live on daily. I have about 2/3 of a gallon of white milk, which Brian & Sarah have each night with their dinners, and the kids have in the morning cereal. I think I can make it stretch until at least Monday, perhaps even until Tuesday!! Can you imagine that? Years ago, I used to mix up a batch of dry milk (which is fat free by the way), and I'd use that for cooking & baking, just so it would help stretch the store bought milk. I have no idea why I got away from doing that. I also used to make my own baby wipes, when the kids were toddlers, especially. Not only were they ideal for diaper/Pull-Up changing, but also for wiping their faces & hands, and sometimes even my own, if were out & about. I just bought a roll of Viva paper towels, cut them in 1/2, and mixed up a recipe using baby shampoo/wash, water, & a little baby oil, placed the paper towels into an empty baby wipes container, and then poured the mixture over the towels and let them soak for a few hours. They were awesome! And cost less than 1/2 of a store brand box of wipes!!

I am determined to have a great garden this year, if it kills me. And if you knew what kind of shape I am in at the moment, you're probably thinking the same thing I am...it just might do that!! lol But joking aside, in years past, I would grown, harvest, & preserve fruits/berries, tomatoes, green beans, pumpkins, salsa, peppers, corn, cucumber/pickles, etc. I took great pride in filling up all my canning jars and placing them neatly on shelves in my pantry and in our basement. I loved making homemade jams & jellies to feed my family as well as give away as gifts at Christmas time. I even sold them at craft shows I used to do with my mother in law. I would make homemade soups & chili's using my homegrown tomato juice & tomatoes, and vegetable that I'd put up in the freezer. And on occasion, I would add deer meat or burger, that Brian had gotten and we'd packaged together...all in an effort to save money. Of course most of this took place when we were younger, and were still struggling to get his business going, and sometimes paying the bills was a challenge. Then you add in the stress of infertility, treatments, and the most awesome day of my life, when our twins were born, well...you really learn to tighten the belt, and get creative with meals, etc. But a funny thing happens when things start to fall into place: the business is making money, things are going really well, you're able to build your dream house, kids are growing up, business is really doing well, you're making more money, etc...well, as the income increased, so did my spending. We are doing okay....but I'm telling you it is so very easy to become complacent when things are going well. I've lost sight of what we, as a couple and as a family are trying to accomplish.

So, I am making conscious effort to really get my proverbial poop together. I have a beautiful house that I need to make our home once again; I have 2 beautiful healthy children who need to be taught life lessons; and I have a husband who, sometimes says things he shouldn't and at inappropriate times, but heaven help me, He is right about so many things. We are supposed to be a team, he & I, and for awhile now, we've not been on the same side of the ball. I want to get back to working together as a team, as a couple, as parent, as children to our parents, and as friends to each other. He is my best friend, my heart, & my soul mate. He doesn't always understand me, or why I do some of the things I do, but I know, deep down he loves me with everything he has, and he loves me unconditionally. Because, I'm afraid if I were in his shoes, I'd done kicked my butt to the curb!!